marriage takes a lot of love. so much love that you are willing to share and compromise and to forgive and understand someone besides yourself. which is the reason i have so much respect for anyone who commits their lives together as a holy bond with the blessings of God. He is our greatest example of love.

next month, my parents celebrate their 25th wedding anniversary. 25 years of love. 25 years of togetherness. 25 years of strength.

through my job, in the month of june alone, i was blessed to witness  a jehovah’s witness, an othordox jewish, a few catholic ceremonies, and an interfaith jewish & hindu ceremony. so amazing. below are my faves from dina & josh’s wedding that i shot with jennifer davis.

~AK

it’s official! i need a new alarm clock. after only about umpteen years, i’ve become immune to the annoying sound of mine. this seems like it should be inevitable but i was hoping it would last forever. i’ve had the same purple alarm clock since freshman year. if you want to do the math, that was in 2001.

i started this blog tonight to post the photos of olga’s. but i’m worried about something. i am worried about whether someone will follow through the way i know they are capable. where do you draw the line in friendship and business? i don’t want to discuss anymore details here. but just as i typed that i remembered my last post. let go and let God. i am putting it in God’s hands. i know He will take care of it.

moving on to olga’s! olga’s on smith just opened this month in carroll gardens. it’s a kosher cafe/restaurant. healthy food that is healthy for your wallet also. they’ve got homemade lemonade with blueberries. yum. russian truffles. yum. and wasabi mashed potatoes to make your heart melt. yum. yum. yum!

i am not the restaurant reviewer type. it is either good or not good in my book. olga’s gets a good.

the place is super cute also. i took these photos this week. if you’re in the neighborhood, check it out. it’s on smith st between 4th and 5th streets.

i’m going out to enjoy the warm spring air this saturday night. wait… as i was finishing this up, it has been confirmed that this will be a blockbuster night. and since i have a good one, i am not as disappointed. (this is me not worrying)

~ak

]]> http://www.amberknowles.com/blog/2009/05/08/this-is-me-not-worrying/feed/ 0 http://www.amberknowles.com/blog/2009/05/05/im-more-than-a-conqueror/ http://www.amberknowles.com/blog/2009/05/05/im-more-than-a-conqueror/#comments Tue, 05 May 2009 19:05:43 +0000 AK http://akcandids.wordpress.com/?p=663 lately, there have been a few songs, which i may or may not listen to obsessively, that inspire and motivate me to kick it in to high gear, to keep pressing on. i want to use this space to write down the lyrics, that have come to mean so much to me, for posterity. the fcbc choir sings these during praise & worship most sundays. but sundays aren’t enough. i downloaded them so i can sing them everyday! here they are:

“soon as i stop worrying, worrying how the story ends, i let go and i let God, let God have His way; that’s when things, start happening, when i stopped looking at back then” (let go and let God – dwayne woods)

“God is able to do just what he said he would do, He’s gonna fullfill every promise to you; don’t give up on God because he won’t give up on you. He’s able!” (He’s able – deitrick haddon, voices of unity w/ darwin hobbs)

“sometimes you have to encourage yourself. sometimes you have to speak victory during the test. and no matter how you feel, speak the word and you will be healed; speak over yourself, encourage yourself in the Lord…you gotta remember that life and death lies in the power of your own tongue.” (encourage yourself – donald lawrence & the tri-city singers)

~ak

there are many people and believers attacking this book, claiming that it is heresy and scriptually incorrect. ive tried to be diplomatic and read both the bad reviews and the good reviews. i wanted to have a fuller understanding of what the book entails, but oh boy do the bad ones give me a headache. i had to stop.

i will start off by saying that i realize this is a fictional novel. however, by the end, i had no doubt in my mind that my God is an awesome God. this novel is helping me to grow in the understanding that He is so much more than my imagination or words can sum up about what He is and what He is capable of doing. It is helping me find my connection with Him, while learning to let his light shine through me and my life, and learning to love what God loves and forgiving the way He forgives. and for those reasons, i appreciate william p. young letting God work through him

God wants to have a relationship with me, by being at the center of my life. i can only compare this to the way i value my relationships with my friends and family.  i invite them into my life by going to them for advice, valuing their opinions about the decisions i make, seeking their encouragement and doing it for them in return. the shack shows that having a relationship with God is not meant to be difficult, i should be able to easily walk everyday with Him in my life.

i used to be afraid of God. acting and believing out of fear. i used to think of God as this cosmic judge judy who will sit on a big throne at the end of my life, roll out a long scroll, and bang down a gavel on all that i have done. But now i understand that He no more wants to condemn us, His children, than we want to be condemned for our mistakes. He is our Father, the creator of everything, and loves us despite our faults and mistakes. we are only human and each of us will continue to make mistakes for as long as we live on earth. so knowing that i will never be perfect in my life, how do i then reconcile this concept of my final judgement day? and when i think about this even further, who told me this and how did i come to believe in it?? so many people have different interpretations of what the Bible means to them and i have definitely begun to explore it more for my own understanding. my search for the truth.

for me, my spirituality and attendance in church is more than following a set of rules to live by. the shack shows me that as good and well intentioned as those rules are, just following  is not enough and it misses the mark on connecting with God and loving. my search for the truth and what God means to me is a personal journey. we are all different and we will all reach our understanding through different avenues, may it be christianity, judaism, islam, or kabbalah. and a big part of God’s love shining through you, is not to discredit anyone’s path but to respect it and love them for their search regardless of your disagreements. i think that’s why i have such a hard time reading through the bad reviews. i mean, we are all searching for the same truth and understanding. we just have different ways of going about it. no matter what avenue you take to find the truth, God will meet you there. and for me the shack is an aid.

after finishing reading the book, it was like a lightbulb had been turned on. God loves me. like really truly deeply loves me. His love is greater than i can imagine and greater than any human can give to me. i’ve only wanted to be loved and to feel loved. and i am! I AM LOVED! God’s love is unconditional, unlike the love of humans. its very different. His love is not based on feelings or emotions or because we make Him feel good. He is love. i never really understood this concept before. i struggled to feel His love. of course, its said all the time in church and through my parents. but i never really understood what this means and to what capacity. but i get it now. i really get it. and it makes me walk with a lighter step. with a more joyful step. i feel so much happier, now that i don’t need to seek  out love in other relationships. i want everyone to feel God’s love, and i look forward to loving with the God in me.

and because this is foremost my photoblog, i don’t want to leave you without any. here are a few pics from the crowds at the This Day Music festival 2007. i went as a second shooter for photographer Bennett Raglin, courtesy of a hook up through the incredible Johnny Nunez. i have been blessed to have my camera allow me to see parts of the world i would have never seen without. these are the beautiful people of Lagos, Nigeria.

~ak

if you take a chance to live, fight for it and God will make a way.

in church on sunday, pastor mike preached that if you take a chance on life, step out on faith, climb out to a tree limb, God will see you and make a way.

i have made up my mind to be bold and take a risk to live the best life for me. and not surrender to my situation. God has been waiting for me. pastor said once you make up your mind, God will start to move on your behalf. living a safe predictable life, is NOT living. take a risk! nothing will happen if you do the ‘safe’ thing and stay still. the best life is not the safe life. go out on a limb, God will see you and make a way.

“defiance” is a true story about the bielski brothers who escaped during a nazi attack on their village and hid in the forest. as days went on, they encountered other people hiding in the forest and took them under their protection and leadership. eventually, by helping others to escape the death camps, they grew to a community of over 1200 people who survived living in the forest till the end of nazi regime.

they fought harsh winters, starvation, sickness, a constant state of warfare, and at one point, a seemingly impassable marsh, while they were being chased. through all of this, they were faced with a decision to make – to either give up on life and wait to be hunted, while dying of starvation and cold. OR they could take a chance. there was a chance they could die trying to stay alive but there was also a chance they would survive. they chose to take the risk.

the bielski brothers and the other jews with them took a chance on life. and they LIVED! for years. they lived through harsh winters. they lived through starvation. they lived through sickness. they lived through a constant state of being hunted like rabbits. but they never gave up. they kept trying and doing whatever it was that they needed to do to live. God made the way for them to live. i am highly recommending this film.

i am so blessed. and feeling very encouraged.

i will leave you with a few photos from the knicks game i went to on friday. we had floor seats courtesy of erica and nbc marketing.

~ak

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